Pick carefully at The Porterhouse

There is a certain sinking feeling that we Londoners get when entering a cosy, homely looking pub in central London and noticing that the only things on tap are Fosters, Carling and some weird ale called Chicken McBobbington that probably tastes like lukewarm coconut water. Luckily, The Porterhouse is just around the corner with its sensational selection (although it doesn’t have Chicken McBobbington on draft).

Tucked away behind Covent Garden (or about as tucked away as a massive, busy four storey pub can be, sort of akin to a rhino trying to hide inn a football stadium) The Porterhouse is striking even on entry, as you are immediately surrounded by huge copper pipes and machinery, the left overs from when this building brewed beer. This serves to give it a pleasingly authentic feel, and the slightly low lighting, sticky patches on the floor and aroma of beer (yes, aroma) just add to this.

The only challenge you might now face is deciding where to sit, or if meeting friends here, finding them at all. With four floors, all a bit messily laid out and more staircases than that block in Hogwarts where they can magically move, it can be quite a challenge to decide where to actually go. We recommend the top floor if the bar up there is open – if not then half a floor up from entry level has a good selection of places to perch – but really, anywhere will do, since you are about to spend about half an hour choosing your pint and you don’t have all night (unless you DO have all night, although we still recommend you just choose a fucking seat already).

Now it is bar time, and over you go to peruse the encyclopaedia of bottled beers from about 90% of the beer brewing nations in the world. If this isn’t hard enough, they also have a plethora of beers on tap that you will never have heard of, something a quick discussion with the barman can solve. With average perusal time at a reported eighteen minutes, bar service can be a little slow, but you can just use this to do a bit more perusing, thereby changing your mind from that Belgian Triple that you remember liking to a niche Senegalese brew that even the Senegalese haven’t heard of, then getting nervous at the moment of truth and ordering a Guinness.

Visit on a Saturday night and you are in for a treat with a cover band playing in the basement bar, which we really do mean: they are literally inside the bar, rocking out on the area usually reserved for garishly designed bottles of spirits that taste like colours. It’s always free to get in and the prices are between 3 and 6 quid depending on whether your beer is fairly local or if it was brewed by an elite set of blind Tibetan monks.

Indeed, The Porterhouse is a great place for:
A tourist wishing for a non-tacky, very British/Irish pub with a huge beer selection
A solid session of after-work drinks
A few pints with a few pals
A date with a girl who loves beer (in which case she’s a keeper, son!)
Essential Info
Address: 21 Maiden Lane, WC2E 7NA
Nearest Tube: Covent Garden/Charing Cross