The Faltering Fullback, Finsbury Park

Not wanting to throw you in the deep end too early (so you don’t get too drunk with pleasure from not having your pint spilled over you by a horny 26 year old advertising exec, which by the way is the lowest job in the advertising hierarchy so don’t be too impressed) we have chosen this glorious mess of ideas as our first stop on your Local London drinking quest. Indeed, it is in Zone 2 and about 3 minutes walk from Finsbury Park tube station, which in turn is just a bus ride away from the places you are pretending to try and avoid, like Dalston.

The first part is finding the place, because it is located in exactly the place you would least expect to find a pub in: the middle of a residential side street. To get there obviously just follow the map at the bottom of this post head up Stroud Green Road from the tube, turn down one of the random roads that look like they lead to suburban wilderness, and you shall be rewarded for your daring. It sort of grows out of the side of the houses, covered in lots of ivy and other greenery that will probably have the healthy contingent of botanists among you salivating. For those of you who are not botanists, ignore the greenery and simply proceed inside, where things get slightly weirder.

Constantly possessing a slightly raucous, drunken buzz and also a fucking enormous, emotionless bouncer (I am talking Andre the Giant at his WWF peak with the social skills of a table) you at once feel welcomed and at home regardless if this is your first ever visit, or your first visit of the day. In the bar area, take in the bike hanging from the ceiling and the other bric a brac which has been organically accumulated over the years rather than rush-bought from a vintage shop for three times the price it was originally worth. Order a pint. Pay less than four quid. Take in the second room of little tables and chairs (complete with tall candles) which look like they have been systematically thieved from the neighbouring houses. Take in the third room full of pool tables, Sky Sports and Thai food. Thai food?!

Despite the conspicuous absence of any Thai people in the whole establishment, they offer a cheap, extensive and high quality Thai menu which can lead to the uneasy image of a bunch of Thai people tied up in the basement and ordered to cook things, but fair play if so because the food is fantastic.

Finally, head outside to the beer garden and up the fairy-lighted stairs to the expansive and complex roof terrace, for you have entered the Enchanted Forest of the Fullback. Although you might take a minute or two to wonder how there is quite so much outdoor space on a residential side street, you’ll soon be underneath a heater (in winter aka always) feeling like you are somewhere far more exotic.

Speak to random Irish people whose age you simply will not be able to guess (this isn’t some kind of weird drinking game where if you can’t guess, they get to keep your daughter; they always just seem to request a guess whilst you wait at the bar). Everyone is friendly, on Sunday evenings they hold fiddle music jam sessions, and on weekend nights you can be sure to bump into at least a handful of pleasant looking people of a similar age to yourself if speaking to the opposite sex does tend to tickle your fancy.

In summary, this place looks great, feels great, is financially pleasing, has a contrasting mixture of Irish drunkards and pretty, relaxed Islingtonians, if you are peckish then their Thai hostages will sort you out, and if you run out of conversation just play a quick game of “how many of us do you think it would require to take out the bouncer”.

This is a glorious mess of a pub that must be experienced, and I would recommend it for:
Drinks with big groups of friends
A quick one after work
A casual date (probably after food or alternate activity, and make sure you hit the roof terrace)
People watching
Irish accent-appreciating
Essential Info:
Address: 19, Perth Road, N4 3HB
Nearest Tube: Finsbury Park