Don’t pretend January isn’t boring. It is the worst month of all time. When you ask people when their birthday is and they say January you can literally see the resignation in their voice flopping outwards onto the floor in front of them like a cold, damp piece of toast. A lifetime of cold, park-less parties, exams spoiling the fun and everyone still being far too poor from Xmas and hungover from New Years to do anything exciting.
So, to perk you up in this most vacuous of months, tomorrow I am going on a little trip through the third most expensive region of the world so we can all fully appreciate the unique culture of how wealthy northern Europeans live. I am flying to Berlin and working my way overland back to London like a homing pigeon that can’t fly, so actually more like a rat. It will take nearly 4 weeks, I will stop in 8-12 cities, and will attempt to write about it right here but not right now because I haven’t actually gone yet. Reasons it will make you happy:
1. I will be colder than you.
2. I will be poorer than you.
3. I promise at some stage I will post a photo of myself looking like a Borrower surrounded by a group of 7 ft Dutch people.
4. You will be able to experience the joys of Germany, Holland and Belgium without having to go there and spend money on what I am anticipating will be some awfully bland food. I just know everything is going to taste of beige.